


the desperate type

by easystreets



Series: the desperate type [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Cute Ending, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29447652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easystreets/pseuds/easystreets
Summary: When Gerard comes out as gay as a form of allyship, Mikey is forced to find him a suitable date to their homophobic cousin's wedding.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Ray Toro/Mikey Way
Series: the desperate type [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2191680
Comments: 13
Kudos: 59





	the desperate type

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy! happy international fan works day! thank you to everyone ever who has read one of my fics and encouraged me as an author. IRl i am professionally published but it's always way more enjoyable to post and write fic on ao3, simply because people here are so kind. so thank you, for allowing me to grow and Flourish as a writer and a person. Oh! and tw for one use of the f-slur! title is from fall out boy cuz i'm Like That.

They were eating dinner when it happened.

Well, technically Mikey was eating dinner, and Gerard was doing that thing where he strangled spaghetti with his fork and scratched his knife across the plate, just so everybody knew that he was mad, like they couldn't already tell by the look on his face. He was disturbingly evocative with just his mouth and his eyes, and Mikey was wondering if it was possible for Gerard to have, like, absorbed all of the expressive features in their mother's womb when Gerard stood up on his chair and clanged a coffee spoon against his I HEART ART mug.

"I'm sorry," Gerard began. He didn't look it, though, standing on one of his grandma's dining room chairs, nearly elbowing their second cousin in the eye when he reached at the floral tablecloth to steady himself. Mikey kinda wished he had brought the video camera, just in case Gerard went ass-backwards into the wall or something. "But this is ridiculous, I think it's ridiculous that Beca wouldn't let her bridesmaid bring her girlfriend as a plus-one. It's fucking homophobic, is what I'm saying, and I don't know how you all can bring yourselves to go to that wedding--"

He went on and on for a bit. Grandma watched and smiled a little in her _oh Gerard_ way and waved at Mikey to come help with the dishes and secretly give him the first serving of apple pie. Mikey dried casserole dishes and watched Gerard argue with Uncle Allan about the sanctity of marriage; he stacked drinking glasses and witnessed Gee list all of the famous gay people they knew to one of their relative's boyfriend's brother or something. Mikey didn't care much; Gerard liked making a stand for things he was passionate about, which was a list that went on for possibly miles and seemed to be unending. This latest protest was just regular Way Family Easter stuff. 

Only, Mikey realized, when the quiet clamor of people chatting and kids playing Tag and someone's half-sister trying to get her car out of the driveway had halted, maybe this wasn't regular stuff. Because Gerard was off the chair now, thank fuck, but people were still looking at him like he was a little nuts. Which meant they were also looking at Mikey, to see if maybe the craziness was catching, and Mikey really had no idea what the hell Gee had said now. He wished he had a smoke, or a little sign that said MY BROTHER IS CRAZY BUT I LOVE HIM.

"I'm gay," Gerard repeated, stretching out the vowel, and oh shit, he was fucking flopping his wrists around the way the assholes at school did to Mikey at the lunch line-up. "I'm gay, and I have a boyfriend, and I'm bringing him to Beca's wedding." That was when Mikey knew it was a lie, because he would so know if Gerard had a boyfriend, if Gerard was gay. Mikey knew everything about Gerard: what he took in his coffee, how to get him to sober up in thirty minutes so that they didn't miss first period, the intricacies of the fucking awesome creative worlds he could conjure up in his mind. This boyfriend was definitely a lie. How could Gerard be dating someone when he spent most of his time playing Diablo with his younger brother's friends? He barely left the house, and if he did Mikey usually tagged along on his quest to get weed or craft supplies or Doritos. More importantly, Mikey thought, warily watching Gerard demonstrate exactly what him and his _lover_ did in bed, where the fuck was Gerard going to find a fake boyfriend to bring to stupid Beca's wedding?

* * *

"What the fuck," Mikey said afterward.

"You can find me someone," Gerard said surely, "you can find me some guy who doesn't mind doing a little acting in the name of social justice--"

"Gerard, you realize you can never bring a girl around anyone from our family again, right?" Mikey said. They were walking to the corner store to buy Grandma more milk and Gerard was still so fired up from his fake coming out that he was darting around on the sidewalk, putting his cold hands on Mikey's shoulders and running in front of him whenever he came up with another instance of why homophobia was bad. Homophobia was terrible, Mikey obviously knew that, and it wasn't like he was a homophobe or anything. He didn't say slurs whenever he played Halo, and he'd even bought one of those wristbands that said GAY IS OKAY or whatever from the school GSA, once. But he didn't go around standing on tables and declaring he was gay to show just how much of an ally he was. 

He loved Gerard. Very, very much. "Shit," said Gee, realization dawning upon him. But Gerard could be very, very stupid. "Oh, fuck."

"Yeah. Fuck," said Mikey, the way you did after you told someone bad news. "And I hate to tell you, but if you bring a guy as your date--"

"You can find me one?" Gerard perked up.

"I can _ask_ ," Mikey said. "But he's gonna be gay. Like, into dick."

"Oh," Gerard said, like he hadn't considered the possibility of it. 

Mikey nodded. "And people are going to ask about him, like what does he do, where did you meet."

"I'll need a plan," Gee said, rubbing his red and freezing-looking hands together. Mikey always brought extra gloves in his pockets for this exact purpose: so Gerard didn't lose his hands to frostbite and never get to do art again. He tossed them at Gerard and watched as he fumbled to catch them. "I love you, Mikeyway. I never would have thought about details like that, you know? Like what season was it when we met and how long we've been together and..."

Mikey kinda zoned out, but he nodded in the right places and promised Gerard no less than three times that he would try his very best to find him a guy. Sometimes Gerard just needed to talk things out, put messy ideas into physical existence, and sometimes he tended to badger Mikey with his endless nerves until Mikey pulled out a bottle of rum or hugged him tight. Right now, Mikey wasn't sure what mood Gerard was in--both, probably-- so he just nuzzled his head into his shoulder and wrapped his arms around Gerard's waist until he stopped talking about coordinating bowties and took a deep breath.

"Love you, Gee." Mikey said. There were people staring at them, but Gerard didn't care: he was ruffling Mikey's hair and twisting the strands and stealing all his body heat. Mikey liked that about his brother, liked that he loved hard and wasn't afraid to do what he wanted if it was important to him, even if it meant Mikey having to comb through his address book to find a gay dude willing to go out with an ostensibly straight guy.

He handed Gerard the money to go buy the milk, and gave him an extra ten for smokes. "Malls, please."

Gerard made an annoyed face but went in anyways and came back out with a liter of 2% and a box of Pall Malls, with the photos of people's fucked up emphysema lungs that Mikey always scratched out with a Sharpie or one of Gerard's fancy art markers as soon as he got home. 

"Do you think that was stupid?" Gerard asked, his eyes all hopeful in the dark moonlight. 

"Kind of," Mikey said honestly. "But it was sorta brave, I guess."

"You really think so?" Gerard said, and his face relaxed the smallest bit. He wrapped an arm around Mikey's shoulders and jostled the milk in his free hand.

"Yeah," Mikey said. "Hey, if I find you a guy within the next two days you have to buy me a carton of cigarettes."

Gerard pouted. "You're really cheapening my allyship, Mikey."

"Marlboros. And a new lighter, Mom stole mine."

"No new lighter, you probably just left it in your dirty laundry." Gerard said. "And a carton, really?"

"Marlboros and a Betty Boop lighter, Gee." Mikey pressed.

"Fine," Gerard said crossly, and then he talked about boutonnieres the entire walk back.

* * *

Mikey's address book wasn't by any means sparse. He had a ton of people in an actual physical one, and then scene girls and guys from shows added him on MySpace or they would get his number or something just by osmosis. People just knew who Mikey Way was. He kind of kept it all in his head, who was who and who was into him and who he had a shot with, unlike Gerard, who hated answering the phone unless he knew who it was and the reason for their call.

He called guys from work and his old dealer and his new one. He offered his Batman trades and tickets to shows and no cover at three clubs at the very least and for Gerard to buy them booze. Everyone hemmed and hawed and then said _no, Mikey, listen dude, you're super cool but there is no way in hell I'm being a guy's date to a fucking wedding_ , or if they were assholes that had wormed their way into Mikey's list of contacts, they said _no, what do you think I am, a fucking faggot, Way?_

Mikey sort of understood Gerard's crusade against homophobia now. He gave up sometime around four, when Ray called and asked if he wanted to watch Alien with him and Frank. Like that was even a question, Mikey thought, and then went to grab money in case Ray's brother took the car and Gerard, in case he wanted to come.

"Aw," Gerard frowned sadly. "I wish I could. I'm trying to embroider a tie." He offered no explanation as to why, but instead gave Mikey a hug. "Tell Ray and Frankie I say hi!"

Frank, Mikey thought, kicking his feet against the front steps as he waited for his ride. There was an idea. Frank was totally into dudes, and like most things in his life, it wasn't a secret, so he wouldn't be ashamed about it. Gerard would like that, like how open Frank was. And Frank knew Gerard, so it wouldn't be unexpected or strange that they were together, and come to think of it, he would actually be a pretty good date to a wedding: he could imitate classiness, and old people fucking loved him. The only problem would be getting him to do it. Frankie was as stubborn as they came.

"Hi," Ray said when Mikey clambered into the card wordlessly. "Oh, hello Ray, thanks for driving on the iciest fucking roads ever to come pick me up." Ray said pissily when Mikey sat and stared into space as they pulled out of the neighborhood.

"Hi," Mikey replied, adjusting the heat dial so that he could hopefully one day regain feeling in his ass. "Do you know anyone who would want to fake-date my brother?"

"Gerard?" Ray asked, like Mikey had ten other brothers living in the fucking attic or something.

"Yeah, Gee," Mikey said, and then explained the whole arduous affair of trying to find someone to go to fucking Beca's stupid wedding.

"No," Ray said, when Mikey offered to buy his gas for a month if he held Gerard's hand at a community hall and ate ceviche with him for six hours. "If my brothers found out they'd _never_ stop giving me shit. You know who you should ask, though?"

"Who?" Mikey said. 

"Frank," Ray said, and well, if Toro suggested it, it was probably a solid idea. Plus, with Ray on his side he could totally badger Frank into it.

* * *

Mikey had sort of been expecting something along the lines of _no_. Maybe Frank would elbow him or something or bop him on top of the head with a DVD case or something just to prove that it was really stupid to ask your friends if they wanted to date your brother. Or he would do that Frank thing where he climbed all over your body like a spider monkey.

Instead, Frank just kind of stared at him. He did this other Frank thing with his eyes where Mikey swore he could stare into your soul and like, read whatever you were thinking. Mikey was pretty sure he was doing it now. Frank took a sip of Ray's Pepsi and he shoved a handful of Lays in his mouth and chewed them for a long time. And then he said, "Yeah, I think I'm free Friday night."

"You want to go fake-date my brother." Mikey said. "At a homophobic chick's wedding."

"Yeah," Frank said lightly, like Mikey was the one agreeing to pretend date Gerard. "I fucking love weddings. The food there is always so good."

"Shit," Ray said. "Will you bring over leftovers if they have them?" 

"You can just come, Toro," Mikey said. "Nobody will think you're gay. You can be my plus-one," Mikey patted Ray's arm to assure him of his heterosexuality, which kinda fucked up Ray's zombie killing, but made him smile nonetheless. Mikey liked Ray's smile: it reminded him of watching sunsets after an all-nighter, or simply _warmth_ , or yet another cliche in one of his mom's romance novels.

"Really?" Ray said, and then "aw, thanks," when Mikey nodded his head and laid down on Ray's lap. He was glad; somebody needed to bear witness to the absolute clusterfuck that Gerard fake-dating Frank would be. And besides, he really, really liked Ray. Mikey was also exhausted from calling all those people, and making charts and shit to keep track of who he had and hadn't asked, so he fell asleep listening to the sounds of Ray and Frank killing zombies and discussing whether or not it was acceptable to wear black socks with a black suit and if Frank even owned a tie.

God, Mikey thought, fading into the best nap ever on Toro's lap, his friends were so fucking gay.

* * *

The two days leading up to the wedding were in the running for the worst two days ever in Mikey's life.

Frank called him the day of at like, fucking nine in the morning, asking him what Gerard was wearing, and if he could come over and see if their suits were the same shade of black and make sure their backstory for the relationship was the same. Mikey said yes, and went downstairs before Gerard drank all of the coffee.

When he got to the kitchen, however, Gerard was there, making fucking pancakes, his hair tied back and freshly showered.

"Mornin'," he said. "Do you want chocolate chips in yours?"

"Um," Mikey said, because Gerard being not only awake but actually functional this early in the morning was fucking insane, "yes?"

"What time is Frank picking me up at?" Gerard asked, slicing bananas and wearing Mom's Kiss The Cook apron even though he was only wearing cat-themed pajama pants and a giant sweatshirt that probably was Mikey's once, so it didn't really matter if they got dirty or anything.

"He's coming over now," Mikey said. 

"Now?" Gerard dropped the banana he was mutilating. "I'm not even dressed!"

"Gee, it's fine." Mikey said, in his best authoritative younger brother voice. "Frank's seen you in pajamas before, and besides he's not _really_ your date."

Gerard's face softened. "Fine," he said. "I don't trust you to finish making the pancakes-- not because you're not capable or anything, Mikes, but you pretty much melted that entire box of plastic forks last time-- but when Frank comes I'm going downstairs to get ready." 

"Fine," Mikey said, and waited for the doorbell to ring. Gerard was nuts. The wedding wasn't until six.

* * *

Frank came an hour later than he was supposed to, which was fine with Mikey, but apparently was going to kill Gerard because what if Frank had died in a car crash or had forgotten that he was going to the wedding, but when he showed up, he looked... _nice_. His hair was combed out and he was already dressed for the wedding, with a red tie that probably belonged to his dad on, and fucking dress shoes on.

Gerard sucked in a loud, deep breath and kind of leaned on the door. "Hi!" 

"Um, hey," Frank said. He had fucking flowers with him, a big bouquet of roses. "These are for you."

"Oh!" Gerard said. "Flowers, I've always wanted flowers!" With anyone else, it would have been insincere, but Gerard clutched them to his chest and smelled them and then tucked one in his hair. "Thank you, Frankie!"

"Yeah," said Frank. "No big deal. Uh, do you know what you're wearing? Or if it's like a casual thing?" He glared at Mikey. "I asked Mikes on the phone but... you know how he is."

"Here, I'll show you my outfit," said Gerard, grabbing Frank's hand and blushing when their fingers collided. Oh shit, Mikey thought, because Gerard was totally doing that thing he did when he had a crush, all blushing and downturned eyes and _oh Frankie thank you so very much for buying me fucking roses_ and Frank wasn't being fucking shy about it either. He watched as Gerard led Frank to the basement, which from the top of the stairs actually looked kind of clean, and ignored their invitations to come down. Instead, he got himself a second serving of pancakes. He was going to need all the strength he could get if Gerard actually started to date Frank.

* * *

The marrying part went actually pretty well, as far as sitting in a dry and dusty church for an hour went. Ray had dressed up nice, and he smelled like fancy cologne, so Mikey didn't mind having to sit next to him, and his parents totally loved Ray. In the row behind them, Frank was tugging on Gerard's arm every time they had to sit or stand or kneel or say amen. Whenever Mikey turned his neck, they were doing coupleish things, like sitting with their thighs pressed together or Gerard tracing lines on Frank's suit.

"You guys make a cute couple," Ray said on the drive to the reception. Beca's new husband was clearly rich as fuck; from what Mikey could see from a block away, the place was decked out with streamers and his mom had told him it had an open bar. 

"Aw, thank you," Frank said. "Gerard's gonna have all my gay babies."

Gerard's face turned as red as the traffic light they were stuck at. Mikey ducked his head into his knees and wanted to die inside a little. 

"Okay," Frank said, once everyone had finished blushing like the wilting lilacs they were. "What's the game plan?"

"We met at school," said Gerard. "We've been dating for a... a year."

"Who's the top?" Ray asked, probably because he wanted to watch the world burn.

"Me," said Frank without skipping a beat. "That's not polite, though, you don't ask straight people who fucks who or who's dick goes in who's ass."

"Sorry," Ray said sincerely. "Duly noted."

"And what do we do in our free time together?"

"We, uh..." Gerard said. "We don't smoke or drink or anything, nothing that'll give gay people a bad name. Um! Frankie, do you like comic books?"

"Yeah," Frank said. "Okay, comics, and maybe we... jog?"

The idea of Gerard jogging in like, shorty-shorts and one of those douchey Nike tank tops was hilarious to Mikey. But this was a serious plan so he sucked in a deep breath of air and squeezed Ray's freakishly warm hand to give him strength.

"Sure," Gerard said. "But like, no other sports. I hate organized sports."

"No organized sports," Frank nodded, and leant down like he was a sports coach, like the guy from those shitty movies Mikey had had to watch in health class or something. "Alright, everyone, let's go in there and kick some homophobe ass."

* * *

Everyone loved Frank. He danced with at least three of Mikey's great-aunts, and two of his kid cousins. Then with Gerard, of course, which was kind of awkward to watch because of how well they sold it. It looked they were actually in love, with the way Frank held onto Gerard and how big and wide Gerard smiled back. Mikey hadn't seen his brother smile like that in a long time. 

He took Ray out on the dance floor a few times. Ray was also an exceptionally good dancer, and he twirled Mikey a lot, which was fun. They drank four martinis apiece and watched Frank and Gerard get accosted by well-meaning aunts and uncles and people who claimed to remember how dear Mikey had been as a baby but who he was pretty sure he'd never met. 

When everything was winding down, and Mikey was using Ray to help himself stand, because the bartender had been fucking generous with the last two drinks, they watched Beca apologize to Gerard. She was kind of a bitch, but like, good for her for apologizing, Mikey thought, and then realized he'd said out loud.

"Yeah," Ray said sleepily. "I'm glad it worked out."

"Me too," Mikey nodded. "Hey, do you smoke Marlboros?"

"Not particularly," Ray said, but joined him outside for some fresh air anyways. He liked that about Ray, that Ray understood what he was saying without asking a billion questions.

Mikey smoked and they leaned against the building wall and kicked rocks into the parking lot. It was cold, still that undecided winter-spring where everything melted during the day and froze at night, and Mikey shivered.

"Want my coat?" Ray asked. "Or here, we can go warm up in the car."

Warming up in the car sounded like a great idea, Mikey thought. They trekked across the lot and Mikey held tight onto Ray's strong arms so that he didn't slip and break his glasses or his face. When they got to the car, however, Frank and Gerard were already in there, and they were--

"Are you guys making out in my car?" Ray said. "My mom's car?"

"Y-yeah," Gerard stuttered. "It's just--"

"If you say you're doing it to be a good ally I don't think anyone here is gonna believe you," Mikey said. "It's okay. Kiss Frank. Ray and I are going to go get coffee."

"You're the man, Mikes," Frank said, and reached to high-five Mikey, but he didn't really want to high-five Frank if he'd just been touching his brother like _that_.

So he grabbed Ray's hand instead. "See you," he told both of them, and then to Gerard, he said, "be safe."

Gerard cringed and slammed the car door shut. His fucking embroidered tie was off. Jesus Christ, Mikey thought, and then stared at Ray's face so he could erase the image of his brother and one of his best friends making out.

"Coffee?" Ray said, because he always knew what would make things better. Mikey nodded, and shoved his hand in Ray's pocket so he would stay warm. He fucking loved weddings.

**Author's Note:**

> if you enjoyed, please drop a comment! and if you want to scream about MCR with me on tumblr please feel free to hit me up @easystreetz... i am a fucking NERD for these guys <3
> 
> edit: sooooo i was like, 'i'm gonna write a short and sweet little rikey sequel to this fic!' anyways 9k later here it is it was a Labour Of Love and my Baby.


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